Tear He

Mr. Tear-He Wing-Ate is tearing himself up by eating wings. For real. Not the dog, For Real. No.....seriously, for real.
In attempt to do "at home surgery" on his in-grown toenails with his version of his Dad's Boy Scout knife (the same knife he uses as a home remedy to pop his boils to allow them to drain when he gets stressed and the same knife he used to cut a McDonald's Sausage and Egg Breakfast Burrito in half to share with Racist HR Manager), Mr. Wingate has developed an infection on both his left and right BIG toes. To everyone's surprise, after 10 days of Neosporin, hydro-codeine and klonopin, the infection hadn't cleared up. This could have something to do with his type II diabetes that is out of control, even with insulin shots injected into his dried up blood stream, administered by whichever nurse at Constar is available at the moment his blood sugar his 425. After his blood sugar comes down, he realizes it's too low and eats a jelly filled doughnut to get the levels back to "normal".

After days of limping around the office, Mr. Tear-He decided it was best to have his toe nails surgically removed to ensure something like this would never happen again. Surgery was scheduled for Friday morning and Boss Man was to be back in the office on Tuesday, fully recovered. Well, after surgery and two valiums later, he called to inform us that, because of his 'betes, Doctor's orders are to stay in a recliner, feet raised and hourly Epsom salt soaks necessary for one week. There you have it. For one week, Tear-He will be in his recliner, eating Vienna sausages for breakfast, chicken wings for lunch and doughnuts for dinner, He will check his blood and shoot himself with insulin as needed or not as needed, as he sits in his cold house, AC set to 60 and a window unit set on 50 with an industrial fan blowing directly on his body.....free of in-grown toenails.

Even with the boils, the toe nail surgery, the tape lamb, the insulin shots.....he keeps going. He goes to Bikinis, he goes to Jack-in-the-Box, he goes to Constar. Go Tear-He, Go.

I've decided this post should contain no photos of Mr. Tear-He, however, here is a picture of where he will be the day he gets out of that recliner.